[Jokes] Daily Dose for Thursday, 11/8/01

[John M. Skilton]

• Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water?   Try spelling Evian  backwards.  NAIVE

• OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa
Bay  Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee
Titans ?

• If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one
enjoys it?

• There are three religious truths:
   1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
   2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian
faith.
   3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at
Hooters.

• If people from Poland are called Poles,  why aren't people from Holland
called Holes?

• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

• Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

• Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  Aren't they just stale bread
to begin  with?

• Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a  person who
drives a race car not called a racist?

• If Fed  Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

• What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

• I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and
forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

• If it's  true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?

• You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

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• Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water?   Try spelling Evian  backwards.  NAIVE

• OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa
Bay  Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee
Titans ?

• If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one
enjoys it?

• There are three religious truths:
   1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
   2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian
faith.
   3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at
Hooters.

• If people from Poland are called Poles,  why aren't people from Holland
called Holes?

• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

• Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

• Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  Aren't they just stale bread
to begin  with?

• Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a  person who
drives a race car not called a racist?

• If Fed  Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

• What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

• I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and
forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

• If it's  true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?

• You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

---------------------------------------

A little black boy goes into the kitchen where his momma is  baking.  He
puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over  his face.  He looks at his
momma and says, "Look, momma, I'm  a white boy!"

His momma slaps him in the face and says, "Go shoe your daddy what y'all
did!"

He walks downstairs to his daddy in the living room and says, "Look daddy,
I'm a white boy!"  His daddy also slaps him in  the face and says, "Go show
yo' big grandma!"

The boy scoots over to his grandma's room and says, "Look Grandma, I'm a
white boy!"

Once again, he is slapped in the face, this time by his grandma.  She tells
the boy to go back to his momma.

Once he arrives downstairs, his momma says, "Well, did you learn anything
from that?!"

The boy replied, "Sure enough did.  I've only been white for about 5 minutes
and I already hate you black people!"